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Re: The Elements, Chapter 1
Hiya. Well, I really liked this! However, I must INSIST you change the title. I'm sorry, but there are about a billion stories named The Elements. (I, for one, wrote ...
Dec 17, 2007 -
Re: 'Crow'
Ooh, quite nice. Carry-on crows...that's pretty genius. Overall, I thought this was really good. Carry, carry, carry-on Crows perching upon a branch. The flock's all here perform your leer and ...
Dec 17, 2007 -
Re: Unicorns and Alley Cats
Wow! I really liked this. You've certainly got a vivid imagination and a knack for expressing it. I could totally see everything that was happening. I normally don't read screenplays ...
Dec 14, 2007 -
Re: Letters to Raven
Hiya, Seraph! This is cool; it's not like anything you've written before. So you're trying out the letter idea, huh? An interesting concept, but, unfortunately, it's been overdone. This particular ...
Dec 14, 2007 -
Re: Wanderer 1
Ooh, bravo! This is quite nice. :D In fact, there's really nothing wrong with it. This is an intriguing world you've set up--sort of science-fictiony, like it takes place in ...
Dec 13, 2007 -
Re: Seedpaw's Fight
Hey, Kitty. Wow, a Warriors fic. I haven't read one of these in a while...and I think there's a reason why. Personally, I think Erin Hunter ruined what she had ...
Dec 11, 2007 -
Re: Blood Moon: Chapter One
Yay! I'm so happy you posted the next part. Okay, here we go. First off, I thought this chapter was really choppy. It moved from one scene to another too ...
Dec 10, 2007 -
Re: Prologue for [nameless]
AAAYYYRRRAAA! Why are you so incredible? I still can't believe how eloquent your prose is. Curdled moonlight...sheer genius. There is nothing wrong with this. Every line is pure and piercing, ...
Dec 10, 2007 -
Re: Empty
Nice. Good imagery, flow, and emotion. However, I don't see the deeper meaning behind this, other than your narrator experiencing pain. The coldness is slowly seeping in, Fearful thoughts soon ...
Dec 10, 2007 -
Re: Santa's Snow Globe
Wow. This was very random and wonderful. It reminds me of the time we took my little sisters to the mall to see Santa. When we got the picture back, ...
Dec 9, 2007 -
Re: Amarok
Haha! This is amazing! It's so wonderfully demented and random--absolutely perfect. Your characters are realistic and funny, and your first sentence is just about as gripping as they come. Personally,
Dec 9, 2007 -
Re: Dragons Part III (Part meaning page)
Well, let me start by saying I was glad to see more than one paragraph in this chapter. However, I find the elipsis unessecary after the first sentece. It makes ...
Dec 9, 2007 -
Re: The Beginning (UPDATED)
Oh, wow. This is truly wonderful. The beginning of the world is such an interesting theme; I've played with it a lot. When I read this, my heart got all ...
Dec 6, 2007 -
Re: Dragons Part II
Hello again. I'm glad to see part two up. Anyway, I must say I'm slightly peeved at the length. This really isn't a chapter. At most it's the blurb on ...
Dec 6, 2007 -
Re: Lips to the Galaxy
Whoa, I can't believed no one's reveiwed this yet! This is incredible. Gray skies, the rain in my eyes Rushing out of those halls You brushed my cheek, gentle It ...
Dec 6, 2007
